girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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