Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
