you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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