Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
