your room smells of hookers.
And success
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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