White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
