New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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