just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
