now i know why i became what i already was.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
