My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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