alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize