But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
