She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
