ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize