i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
