i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize