I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
