Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He shit in the fireplace
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