I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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