Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
