I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
