I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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