I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
