Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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