If that was your dad, he is hot
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
send nudes
from the living room?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
