escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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