This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
