Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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