So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
