are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
