She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
