did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We have started to decorate penises.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
