i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
