it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
