I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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