Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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