Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize