I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
