I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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