Four minutes until I can fart!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
