Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
