found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
last night I used snow as a chaser
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