I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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