North Korea, Best Korea!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
