If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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