Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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