So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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