the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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