how can u be prego again
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
