hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
