I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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