What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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