i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
