I am puke
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize