Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize