I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
