she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
