im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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