Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
