I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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