go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
