just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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