My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
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It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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