don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
