wakey wakey hands off snakey
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
