I wish my penis had an off switch
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
