i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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