he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
